The Magic of Infant Massage

In honor of our upcoming Infant Massage series at Doulas of Orange County, our wonderful instructor Kathleen Thomas-Sarles is sharing more about the magic this healing and bonding activity provides. Kathie provided a lovely hands-on demo at our New Mama Cafe this week and we weren't surprised to hear that everyone LOVED it! Learn more about Kathie and her expertise in Infant Massage on her website. 

According to Infant Massage USA, there are many benefits to regular infant massage:

1. Stimulation: Skin sensitivity (touch) is the earliest developed function which is most crucial for all the sensory systems, for muscle development, and overall health.

2. Relaxation: Massage helps balance our autonomic nervous system. Massage helps to relieve tension built up from all the stimulation in our baby’s environment. It can help your baby sleep better: (longer and deeper sleep) and helps with self-regulation and self-soothing.

3. Relief of Physical Discomfort: such as gas and colic, constipation, muscular tension or stiffness and sensitivity to touch or disorganization of the nervous system.

 4. Interaction: Touch is one of the most critical elements to the bonding process.  Learn your baby’s cues and build trust.

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Babies are touchable, squeezable, kissable and overall intoxicating! Our babies have the power to make us touch, hold, and care for them!  That touch-communication begins at birth or even before, (pregnant moms are always rubbing their bellies), and continues as the baby grows and develops. The question is often asked, “Why should parents learn infant massage when they touch their babies often throughout the day anyway?”  

Infant massage USA uses a systematic method of touch that incorporates two types of strokes: Indian and Swedish, and combines that with a heightened awareness of the cues our babies give us. Observation and “being present” with our baby is the cornerstone of this process.   Massage begins with a question directed to our baby,” Would you like a massage?”, and continues with non-verbal communication that builds trust between the two participants. We never massage a crying baby, we do however, respond to that cry with another method of touch and love.  

There are many benefits to infant massage, but the one that stands out as crucial is the deep bonding that occurs through this one-on-one time. Finding the time in your day when you and your baby are ready for this interaction and setting aside all other concerns, allows you and your baby to get to know each other more completely. When touch is offered lovingly and respectfully it is most often accepted. As parents we gradually learn when our baby is not ready for this touch and note the cues. This skill of reading cues is beneficial throughout our child’s life, as children do not always use their words to tell us what they want.

“Infants communicate through their bodies. When you engage an infant in a massage, you begin to listen to the infant: you listen to sounds, you watch movements, you listen with your eyes, your ears and your heart. “Infant massage, or touch communication nurtures the most important relationship the child will ever have: the relationship between the parent and infant”. Elaine Fogel Schnieder, Ph.D

Vimala McClure founder of Infant Massage USA tells us,”Touch is the first sense to form in-utero and the last to leave us in death.  It is the only sense we can’t live without.” Infant massage when incorporated into your daily schedule, has the added benefits of better sleep, better digestion, muscle and brain development and increased self -soothing ability of your baby.  Massage gives parents more confidence due to their successful response to their baby’s needs, and the baby learns to trust that their needs will be met.  Both parent and child benefit from the massage not only in the moment, but for a lifetime of communication. Infant massage creates a space where baby and parent come together to communicate through touch and learn the wonders of each other.

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Kathie's 4-week series launches Sunday, September 3rd at at 10:30am in Irvine. These hour and a half sessions are held at our baby-friendly office. Each class will include guided understanding and modeling of strokes, education regarding temperament, relationship, development, behavioral states and touch as a first communication. You will learn how to create a sense of trust, respect and confidence for you and your baby and maximize your bonding time. This class is great for moms, dads, and grandparents! 

Check out Kathie's Intro to Infant Massage session on Sunday, August 27th at 10:30 or join us for  New Mama Cafe on Tuesday, September 5th at 11:30am to learn more. This info session will provide you with everything you need to know to sign up for the 4-week series and includes a hands-on demo! Registration is required. 

Read more about this new series and instructions on how to register on our events page. For questions, please email Kathie directly at ktsarles@gmail.com. 

New Moms: It's okay to ask for help

Ah pregnancy. The pending arrival intrigues and excites most friends and family members. You may have received extra attention, special care and an interest in how you and baby are doing. Your days have been spent planning for your upcoming birth. Countless hours have been spent perfecting your birth plan, registering for just the right baby gear, playing Hypnobabies tracks into the wee hours of pregnancy insomnia and attending those fabulous weekly prenatal yoga classes. As the big day arrives, the joy surrounding the birth of your sweet baby is shared throughout your close (and not so close) circle...with congratulations texts and Facebook posts flooding your inbox. 

A few days, maybe a week pass and you realize you are home... all alone...with an itty bitty baby. All the fuss and support has disappeared. Nobody told you about preparing for the postpartum transition and life with a newborn. 

Our society has placed new moms in place of isolation and unrealistic expectations and frankly, it's NOT okay. In many cultures, birth and motherhood is widely discussed and passed down from family members. However in current day North America; Pregnancy, birth and the postpartum stage are not topics that are widely shared on a authentic and deep level within most circles. A combination of the media and a lack vulnerability about parenthood has led to a skewed image for new moms.

Anxiety about being a perfect mother are rampant and something we see quite frequently as Postpartum Doulas. In the hustle and bustle of our urban and fast paced cities, women often feel the pressure to immediately bounce back to their pre-baby state and way of life. They try to carry on, as if bringing a whole new life into the world is no big deal and that raising an infant is a simple task that any good mother can handle with ease. 

Well guess what?

It is a big deal.

It's a really big deal.

You deserve to be supported, cared for and celebrated as a new mother. We fully believe you are AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG. However, we also fully believe that you don't have to be those things all of the time. It's okay to be SAD, CONFUSED and UTTERLY STRESSED OUT.  

Parenting is hard. Physical healing from birth is hard. The emotional roller coaster of your hormones balancing is hard. Figuring out your breast or bottle feeding relationship is hard. Waking up multiple times a night is hard. Trying to balance bonding with your newborn and providing attention to your partner or other family members is hard. Wading through the voices of advice and judgement is hard. Deciding on all the little decisions surrounding newborn care is hard. Hard doesn't mean you aren't doing it right. Motherhood is rewarding, joyous and life transforming...but you can't expect to be perfect. There is no perfect mother.

Motherhood is not meant to be done alone. Even with a loving and supportive partner or caring in law staying for the week after birth, it's important to call on the rest of your community for a helping hand or listening ear.  New mamas and mamas to be: It's okay to ask for help!

Friends & Family - Help a New mama out !

(Hint: Send this to your friends & family)

• Pick up or make a warm meal AND offer to hold the baby while mama eats.

• Go to the grocery store and pick out or prepare healthy snacks mama can eat with one hand:

  • Veggie Sticks & Dip, Cubed Fruit, Protein Bars, Nuts & Seeds, Muffins, Smoothies, Wraps, etc

• Siblings? Spend some one and one time with the sibling(s) at a park or playing with toys. You could also hold the sweet baby, so mama can read a book with a sibling. After a month or so, accompanying mama & siblings to a park date is a great option as well.

• Laundry is something that piles up quickly in the house. Come over and put a load in and chat with mama on how she's doing while the cycle goes through. Once it's done, fold and put away or I promise you it will most likely be in the basket next time you come over.

• Short showers are a luxury for most mamas. Draw a bath, adding a postpartum herbal blend or diffuse some aromatherapy and offer to care for her newborn while she takes a long, relaxing bath.

• Listen. New moms are very fragile and experiencing a range of emotions and still processing. Gently open up dialogue to ask how she's doing, ask how her birth experience was, ask how the adjustment to parenthood has been, etc. Be a non judgmental, open ear for her to vocalize and process with. Sometimes they aren't ready to share and that's ok too. Support her where she's at.

• Take the dog for a good run or take them to the groomers for a wash.

• Unload the dishwasher and take out the trash.

• Encourage her to take a long a nap while you get baby snuggles in.

• Take a walk outside in the fresh air and sunshine with mama and baby.

• Hire a Postpartum Doula to provide all of the above and so much more!