In the quiet hush of the labor & delivery room, where the air is charged with anticipation and the scent of earthiness and birthyness, a new chapter in your life unfolds. The rhythmic cadence of your breath is mirrored by the gentle whispers of your doula, a reassuring presence in this oh so sacred moment. The culmination of nine months… maybe more, leads to this: the first hour with your newborn.
When I was selecting items for my baby registry, it was really important to me to not go overboard. As a doula of 14 years, I’ve seen families get overwhelmed with the amount of stuff in their homes and nurseries and I knew I wanted to keep things on the simpler side. I also wanted to be mindful of the impact on not only the environment, but also my baby’s microbiome - which meant finding a lot of eco-friendly products to keep waste down and keep our home as “low tox” as possible. Here you’ll find some of my favorite sustainable and most useful items that I registered for.
The Doulas of Orange County office phone rings.
I pick up. “Hello! Doulas of Orange County. Lauren speaking.”
A strained voice sounds relieved to hear me, and it sounds like she has been crying. She’s an exhausted new mom of 12-week old twins and a 20-month-old toddler (who won’t let her out of his sight). She’s drained from her twin pregnancy, a difficult birth, and breastfeeding challenges. She struggles to keep up with laundry and wash enough dishes to have plates for the next meal. Her partner has been trying to feed the baby at night, but she’s still waking up to pump for multiples and can’t help but feel guilty about how tired her partner will be at work the next day. She really needs a postpartum doula in Irvine, CA.
“Can you help me, even though my babies are so old?” She asks.
Not always.
After extensive research and trainings to learn about the science of infant sleep, I've come to realize that while the terms may be intermixed, they don't always describe the same service. And because I believe in full transparency, I want to share a bit more about the differences in approach and what makes our in-home program so unique.
Start. Stop. Start. Stop.
Contractions come consistently for 4 hours. Then nothing. You fall into a sleepy abyss of nothingness for a few hours before the contractions start up again. And again, they stop.
The next morning you have random and mild contractions. There's no pattern, no consistency, just annoying pain that lasts all day long. Sometime in the mid afternoon you nap and they go away.
Night time falls, the moon rises... they're back. Coming every 3 minutes. Your back and hips ache beyond belief. You're convinced this is it.
You call your doula. She comes to your home to support you but hours later, the contractions slow and eventually stop.
This is prodromal labor. And it is, (pardon my French), a total mind fuck.
Some people call prodromal "false labor" but the reality is, there's nothing false about it. The contractions are real. What you're feeling is real. The mind games are real. Calling it false labor discounts what the laboring woman is feeling and can make her feel as if her body is broken or unable to dilate. This is simply not the case.
The biggest challenge with prodromal labor is that while the contractions are real, they typically aren't strong enough or consistent enough to dilate your cervix, thus prolonging your labor and wearing you out in the process... physically, mentally and emotionally.
Surviving prodromal labor requires a lot of support, so before you reach the end of your pregnancy, I recommend having a system in place in the event this is a part of your birth journey.
This is why you hired her. She will provide emotional support to help you stay present and encouraged. Her expertise will help you determine if this is prodromal or early labor. She'll be able to give you tips on various positions or comfort measures that can help you stay relaxed. Don't be afraid to call her or ask for help. She is always there for you.
So much of the labor game is mental. As you can imagine, days or weeks of start and stop contractions would discourage anyone. Build yourself up and get your mind right with affirmations. Print some out and put them all over your house, in every room. Repeat them out loud to reinforce their meaning and strength.
Further, reframe your thoughts around prodromal labor by looking at it as a warm up or a rehearsal for the big day. Use this time to practice your breathing, relaxation and comfort measure techniques that you learned in childbirth class. Get your partner involved with some hands-on support to provide physical relief.
Don't hate me. I know rest is what you crave and I know it can be hard to come by with prodromal labor. Find respite in the breaks and sleep when your body allows you to. If you can't sleep, keep the nighttime restful with gentle yoga, warm baths, meditation or something equally relaxing. Can't find a comfortable position? Check out Spinning Babies for supportive positions that encourage relaxation and more optimal positioning of your baby.
Another option for rest is called "therapeutic rest." If your prodromal labor has prevented you from getting quality sleep for days or weeks, talk to your care provider about this option. Therapeutic rest involves medication such as Ambien or Nubain to relax your body and mind to get you to sleep. Often times therapeutic rest is the catalyst for kick starting your labor.
It's easy to be distracted by this annoying labor pattern, not to mention the discomfort or exhaustion may limit your appetite. But nutrition is just as important now as it is in active labor. Eat smaller, high protein meals to keep you fuller longer or try hydrating soups that will nourish your tired soul as well as your hard-working body. Stay hydrated with coconut water, fresh juice, electrolyte drinks or tea.
Dig deeper into self-care and go get a relaxing massage or a pedicure. Not only do these promote relaxation, but certain acupressure points might move labor along.
Ignore your contractions for a long as you can. Alternate rest and activity. Do normal things for as long as you feel comfortable and when your energy is tapped out, give yourself space to rest. Remember, your body is warming up and working hard, so give yourself grace and compassion. Know that you will not be pregnant forever and that in time this prodromal labor pattern will shift and your baby will come.
Prodromal labor can be incredibly challenging and disheartening. But with the right frame of mind and the right support, you will get through it. Did you experience prodromal labor? Share about your experience below and tips on what worked!
One of Chelsea and my favorite places to have work meetings (occasionally over cocktails) is Cafe Gratitude in Newport Beach. Their food is fresh and healthy and beyond delicious and they have some of the most refreshing libations out there.
I remember the first time I went to Cafe Gratitude. We were meeting Midwife, Allison Molinski, for happy hour and winding down after a long day. I looked over the menu and while there were so many enticing choices, one stood out amongst the rest... the butternut squash dip.
This is the stuff that dreams are made of. Rosemary infused butternut squash whipped into a frenzy and served on top fresh baguette slices. Oh my gosh you guys, it's almost orgasmic.
Hey there, mama. We see you.
We see you with your sore nipples trying to get your baby to latch, scrolling through KellyMom trying to figure out what's going on and how to make it work. We know it's hard and painful and exhausting. They told you your baby would feed every 2-3 hours, but how has it only been 45 minutes since your baby last fed and is now showing signs of hunger again?! Yeah, we see you.
Let's be real... as a new mom, you have a lot going on. Not only have you just birthed an entire human, but you're adjusting to sleepless nights, sore boobs, raging hormones, and learning the ins and outs of your baby's own unique cues. The first few months postpartum can be overwhelming and even frightening for some, often resulting in a lack of self-care and intense feelings of isolation.
Getting out of the house can be tough and finding time for yourself even tougher. What once took very little energy or thought, now requires a check-list just to get out the door in one piece!
Leaving the house can be utterly exhausting, but getting out and about in the community might be just what the doctor ordered for your postpartum physical & mental well-being. And what could be better than mom groups where babies are welcome with open arms! Baby & Me Yoga is just one of the many events we host to help moms get reconnected to themselves and meet other parents in the community!
